It’s been a few weeks since I last blogged anywhere… let alone here.  Partly because of my shift in focus on a Full Time gig, versus consulting – partly because of the tornado and additional windstorms that hit my apartment complex – and partly because I am going through a few personal re-evaluations.  For example, I am changing my name back to my maiden name.  And also trying to figure out what I really want to do with my life and how I want to apply myself.

It is one of the hallmarks of Spring, when I begin trying to figure out if I am on the right path or not.  This time last year I was preparing to move into my own apartment, after having spent nearly 9 months living with a friend when I moved back to Texas… the year before that I was moving from Dallas to NJ and unpacking a 3500 sq foot house into an 11oo sq foot house and wondering why I was there at all.

The point is that no matter where you go, or what you are doing, you wind up at some point – asking yourself which way now?

So far, each year my answer has been slightly different.  But the overall direction is the same… I am looking for a feeling of satisfaction.  Whether that is because I am appreciated for a job well done, or have accomplished something that some one else could not, or gone somewhere or done something that I have always wanted to do… the feeling I am chasing is a form of happiness.  What creates it?  Like art, I know it when I see it.  And I know what I like. 

And contrary to some people’s opinion, I don’t expect others to “make me happy” but I know when I am not happy being with them – whether that is a personal or business relationship.  Eventually you either accept mediocracy or determine to search elsewhere for the next “hit” of happiness. 

Overall, I am a happy person.  I enjoy walking my dogs, and seeing the moon rise or the sunset.  I recognize the various birds and animals in my neighborhood, and my neighbors, too.  My bliss occurs when I have conquered something, or helped someone else to conquer something – a project, a goal, a bad situation.  That’s what I am looking for… the Don Quixote windmill… the grail. 

I will keep up the search.  If I meet you along the way, I’ll smile and say “hello” and if not… well, every one’s path leads to somewhere else.